


Lonely but not alone

by SophieRomanoff97



Series: Sophie's Endgame fics (AKA lots of fix its) [6]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Natasha Romanov, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abuse, Death, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endgame, Gen, Harm to Children, Kinda?, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov-centric, Orphanage, Orphans, Past Child Abuse, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Natasha Romanov, Red Room (Marvel), Spoilers, hints at - Freeform, mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-03-06 22:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieRomanoff97/pseuds/SophieRomanoff97
Summary: The Russo Brothers revealed an unused subplot where Natasha would have been overseeing an organisation caring for orphans who lost their parents in the snap.This is my version of that!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WridersRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WridersRose/gifts).



> Hey everyone!!!!
> 
> ENDGAME SPOILERS CLICK OFF IT YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> .
> 
> I love a good Nat-centric fic and as soon as I saw the post I started writing straight away. I get the film was three hours already but considering...you know what happened to her, it would have been great to see such an insight into Nat and her life and her passions and her feelings. Plus we already didn't get the scene where Nat talked about her parents and I'm BIG MAD about it. #NatDeservedBetter
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. I really love this fic already. Dedicated to my best friend because we're both mad about it.
> 
> TW: death/temporary death y'know?, references to child abuse, sick and sad children, orphanages, problems associated with not eating etc, lots of emotional angst because they're just children.

Natasha sat back in her seat, rubbing at the budding headache creeping up her temples.

It had been one whole month since the world went to shit and despite The Avengers' best efforts, the world was still shit.

Everyone had split up not long after the snap and at the moment, the only person left at the compound was her.

She had somehow become the unofficial team leader of whoever was left. Nick and Maria were gone, not that it mattered in relation to leadership, Shield was also gone, but still.

Steve had hung around the compound for a week before, filled with grief and loss, he took off to try and find some purpose, to find something good he could do. So that was them down another leader.

She'd been the only one to stay and so she had become the hub for meetings. Rhodey, Okoye and Carol turned up the most, though only by hologram. Natasha wasn't exactly sure how she became the go to on mission prep, on check ins, on advice giving, but somehow it had happened.

She recalled her words during the mess that had gone down at the airport years before.

_Staying together is more important than how we stay together._

Wincing at her own phrase, Natasha absently typed at the screen to her left.

She'd been scanning for thirty days straight for any sign of Clint.

She knew Laura and the kids were gone and that Clint was alive, but that was all she knew.

He'd disappeared.

Not unsurprising really, considering he'd lost his whole family. Still, something smarted deep inside her, a permanent ache settled in her chest at the knowledge her best friend was alive but seemingly wanted nothing to do with one of the only people he had left.

She wasn't hoping for anything to come out of the scans as they ran again, Clint knew how to hide.

With a lingering look at the screens, she realized she really needed some food. There were only so many pb+j's a woman could eat and she was sick of them.

She headed out the compound, taking her motorbike into the main city of New York.

People around there were trying to cling to their jobs and businesses and as such, most of the food places and stores were still open.

Natasha hopped off her bike in front of a sandwich shop, placing it around back in the alley. There had been a big rise in burglaries around the city and she would rather not have to walk back to the compound.

As she leaned her bike against the wall, she heard a soft sob from behind her.

Instantly on red alert, the woman turned and quietly headed towards the noise.

The cries were coming from behind one of the trash cans.

"Hello?" Natasha called, making her way around the can until she found the source of the cries.

They were coming from a girl, a young girl at that, maybe nine at most. She had dirty blonde hair and from what Natasha could see, was filthy. She had her face buried in her hands and was sobbing so hard, her little body shook.

Natasha swallowed thickly, the ache in her chest growing.

"Hey, sweetheart, are you okay?" She asked carefully, coming to crouch in front of the child, to make herself as small and as less threatening as possible.

The girl flinched, head jerking up from her hands. She rubbed at her nose and eyes, clearly trying to stop her tears and failing miserably.

Usually one would ask a lost child where their parents were but after the snap...that was the worst possible question she could ask.

"I'm Natasha, I work with Captain America and Iron Man, you know them?" Natasha asked softly, heart breaking at the little girl's terrified expression. "I'm not going to hurt you, darling, I just want to help. Are you hurt?"

The little girl sniffled and crossed her arms over her chest, watching Natasha with a critical gaze that rivaled even the redhead herself. If she could call an inch of her natural hair colour left being a redhead.

Anyway.

After a couple of moments, the girl's eyes widened and she spoke for the first time. "Y...you're Black Widow." She whispered, voice trembling.

Natasha nodded, "I am. Are you hungry? How about we go inside and get a sandwich, I'm starving."

Just then, the girl's stomach rumbled. "I...I guess." She murmured.

"Great, I'm so lucky I ran into you. I hate eating alone." Natasha stood, offering out her hand to help the girl up.

The blonde girl stood, though she didn't let go of Natasha's hand as they headed around to the entrance of the store.

Settled in a corner booth, Natasha slid the menu over to the girl. "Pick whatever you like. Sandwich, cake, milkshake. Go for it." She said kindly, carefully watching over the top of her own menu as the girl's eyes scanned the room.

A pretty blonde came over to take their orders and worried the girl wouldn't order something substantial if Natasha didn't, she asked for a Reuben, a vanilla milkshake and a slice of cherry pie.

The girl, fiddling in her seat, looking nervous, glanced over at Natasha.

"Do you want to point at it, honey?" Natasha asked, leaning over to get a look at the menu.

"Okay," the redhead smiled as the girl pointed at the options, "we'll have a grilled cheese and tomato soup, a chocolate milkshake and one of the chocolate cookies please." She slid the menus over and smiled at the girl. "So, I think it would be a little awkward if you had to keep calling me Black Widow, huh? I'm Natasha."

The girl, clutching a napkin in her hands, dug her teeth into her lower lip. "Molly." She said after a few moments. "'M Molly."

"Well, Molly, thank you for joining me for lunch." Natasha smiled.

The girl's eyes lit up as the milkshake was set down in front of her.

Natasha smiled kindly, "it's all yours." She nodded as she sipped at her own milkshake.

Tentatively, Molly pulled her glass closer and took a drink. Eyes widening, the girl's eyes filled with tears before she quickly looked down.

Something painful and jarring pulled at Natasha's insides. It was clear the girl hadn't eaten in...a while, at least. She didn't need to ask to know the general story of what had happened to Molly.

It was likely her parents or whoever she lived with were now gone and that she'd left her home in the hopes of finding either food, safety, or family and friends she knew. Judging by how dirty, scared and hungry the girl was, she hadn't found any of them.

Natasha knew she couldn't leave the girl to go back to that alley.

She would take her back to the compound and start a search. Molly wasn't the only child who had lost parents or caregivers and Natasha was hoping there would be something...a shelter, anywhere she could take Molly.

Molly had finished her milkshake by the time the food came so Natasha asked for another.

The girl dug in right away, a slightly wild look to her eyes that scared Natasha down to her core.

She knew that starving, terrified, lost gaze.

_Fuck you, Thanos, fuck you with a giant fucking cactus._

Swallowing back the rise of anger, Natasha absently bit into her sandwich, troubled as she watched Molly tear into the food.

Yeah, Natasha had to do something.

She would do something.

She couldn't bring lost loved ones back but she could damn well ensure that those left behind were looked after.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translations:  
> milaya: sweetie
> 
> TW's for some sad stuff with kids etc

Too troubled to really eat anything, Natasha spent most of the time Molly ate, searching on her phone.

Most of what came up were the horrific articles that had come out after the snap. Other sites gave her therapy groups, memorial locations, coffee mornings for the bereaved. What she couldn't find was exactly what she _needed_ to find.

She understood that orphanages couldn't be too public about it after...the incident. A woman, overcome with grief after losing her twins had broken into a foster home, kidnapped two children and crossed state borders with them. The police had gotten the children back but after that, information had been hard to come by.

But she wasn't a normal civilian and she had tricks up her sleeves. Shield may not have existed for years but some of their code and backdoors remained, just waiting to be gotten into.

Not only that, but Natasha had all the Stark tech she could possibly ever need right at her fingertips.

Cursing herself for not remembering her laptop earlier, and for leaving it on the damn bike, she prayed her beloved would still be there. The laptop wasn't really an issue, nobody would be able to get past Tony's firewalls and self destruction of info but it was the principal really.

She blamed the aching of her head and the fact she hadn't slept in...god, three days maybe? For the fact her thoughts were so scattered.

"Hey, I just need to grab something from my bike. I'll be right back, okay?" Natasha asked the girl as she slid out from the booth.

Molly stopped drinking her milkshake, pushing the straw around as if she were no longer interested. She didn't meet Natasha's eyes.

"Honey, I'm coming back, I promise. I just need to get my laptop so I can help you, okay?" The redhead moved around the table. "How about you hold my phone and my bike keys? I can't go anywhere without them so I have to come back." She said quietly, sliding the items across to the girl, who eyed them and then Natasha.

"Okay." Molly nodded after a few moments, taking the items and placing them in her lap.

"Okay." Natasha repeated, smiling. "Are you still hungry?"

Molly shrugged, returning to her milkshake. All the food in front of her was gone.

"You have a think about it and let me know if you are, okay?"

The girl hummed noncommittally and shrugged again, but she didn't look displeased or wary so Natasha took that as a good sign.

Before heading out the door, she stepped over to the waitress and asked if they had any kids play packs. Nat didn't know the girl's age exactly but judging by her experience with Lila, she would probably not say no to some coloring or puzzles. And she would need Molly to stay entertained as she figured out what to do.

The waitress smiled, "sure." Then the woman paused. "I haven't seen her around her before. Usually, if we see any kids we call social services, give them some food, let them use the bathroom."

"That's good of you, I've seen a few places who just leave them be. Do you have that number? I'm trying to find somewhere she could stay."

The woman nodded, "sure, but I don't think it will help much. Social was swamped before...you know, but now there's just not enough of anything to go around."

Natasha sighed softly, rubbing at her temple. "Okay, well thank you anyway." As she headed out the door to her bike, blissfully still there, she tried very hard not to spiral.

She was in way too deep. Sure, she had _some_ experience with kids but this was on a whole other level.

_Romanoff, what the hell are you going to do?_

She understood how services would be affected. They were now dealing with two separate groups of orphans. There had to be something set up for those kids left behind after the snap, there had to be. Natasha just had to find it.

Laptop in hand, she headed back inside, happily surprised to see Molly scribbling furiously with a red crayon.

Settling back in the booth, Natasha opened up the laptop and got to work.

...

An hour later, Natasha had a number. It had taken some digging but she'd found a center not too far away, accessible by bus and best of all, they didn't turn a single kid away, no matter what.

Feeling triumphant if a little sad that she was triumphant over something like that, Natasha called the number.

They would take her.

All Natasha had to do was get her to the center and fill out some paperwork and Molly would have a bed and a bathroom and _belongings_.

Putting the phone down, she quickly scribbled the number and name of the center down onto a napkin before pulling out at least a hundred more than what her bill would be. She left both on the table for the waitress.

Molly had gotten bored with the pack minutes before and was now watching Natasha intently.

"Where am I going?" She asked quietly.

"Somewhere safe. You'll have a bed, a shower, food, other kids to play with." Natasha smiled reassuringly, expecting a fight, maybe even expecting the girl to run.

Instead Molly's shoulders pulled in in herself and she started to shake, tears streaming down her face.

Natasha was out of her side of the booth and sliding into Molly's in seconds, instinctively wrapping an arm around the girl. Molly turned, burying her face into Natasha's neck, sobbing desperately, her small hands fisting into the redhead's shirt.

"Hey, hey, you're okay." Natasha breathed, other arm now moving to wrap the girl in her embrace.

"I know it's scary and you feel so alone but you're not. I'm here and this is to help you, this is to make sure you're safe." Natasha rested her cheek against the girl's dirty hair, closing her eyes and just letting Molly cry, rocking her and occasionally murmuring something soft.

"I th...thought I'd b...be out there f...forever-" Molly hiccuped, voice muffled by Nat's shirt.

It wasn't possible for Natasha's heart to ache any more but oh god did it.

"I know, milaya." Natasha whispered, pressing a kiss to Molly's hair. "I know. But you're safe now, you're safe. I promise."

"I'll break your legs if you break that promise." Molly murmured against Natasha's neck, making the redhead burst into laughter.

"Damn, okay kid, understood." She grinned, rubbing a hand up and down the girl's back as Molly cried herself out and rested against Natasha instead, sniffling and rubbing at her eyes.

"Now, how about we get you to the center?" Natasha asked after a few more minutes, looking down at the girl, tenderly brushing blonde hair behind her ear.

"Safe?" Molly asked, biting her lower lip.

"Safe." Natasha assured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you're liking this so far, I'm quite proud of it. Lemma know how you feel about It? Thanks for reading! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Also hi yes I'm a nerd and I did pull Molly's name from a show. I thought it might be cool to have you guys drop names in the comments, yours or just one you like, and I can use them for the names of some of the kids coming up. Lemme know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to faithful reader 123456789 who suggested the name Alessandria, thank you for always commenting!
> 
> As always italics are thoughts or memories.
> 
> Russian translations:  
> milaya - sweetie

The pair had gotten the local bus over to the center and had spent the last half an hour looking around.

It was certainly homely. Natasha had no idea how they'd gotten the whole thing together so quickly but they had and the place was...well, it was pretty amazing.

There were at least fifteen kids rooms, each holding two kids each if they were at capacity. There were rooms for the adults and workers, two kitchens, a massive dining room, two play rooms and a handful of lounge areas.

Molly hadn't been able to close her mouth as they'd walked around, her little hand firmly in Natasha's grasp. She'd in particular been entranced by the play rooms. She'd tugged Natasha over to the craft table, pointing out every new thing with a shy smile on her face.

Natasha's aching heart had warmed at that smile.

After exploring, the worker who had spoken to her on the phone, a kind blonde called Emma, took them to the dorms.

Molly's bunk mate was waiting to meet them, sitting on her bed with a book in her hands.

As the three entered the room, small but well furnished and obviously loved, the girl hopped up.

She seemed a little older than Molly and smiled sweetly. "Hi! It's gonna be so cool to have a roommate. I'm Alessandria, but you can call me Ria if you want."

_Oh, ouch_

Natasha had been so good at pushing away those feelings inside her. The feelings that overwhelmed her and reminded her of all she'd lost.

It wasn't the girl's fault, there was no way she could know that the nickname Ria triggered immediate pain right down in Natasha's soul.

Maria was one of her oldest friends. The third person she'd met after coming to America. The first female friend she'd had that hadn't been trying to kill her or manipulate her.

Natasha swallowed, pushing the pain deep inside where it could remain until she was alone.

She reassuringly squeezed Molly's hand as the girl shuffled on the spot. "Hi, 'm Molly." She said softly.

Alessandria grinned. "Nice to meet ya, Molly. Do you like dolls?"

Molly nodded, biting her lip. She looked up at Natasha, the redhead smiling down at her. "Why don't you go play, milaya? I just need to get all the boring adult stuff out the way and then I'll come back, hmm?"

When Molly didn't let go of her hand, Natasha crouched, gently brushing the girl's hair off her face. "Just for a couple of minutes? If you start to not feel good, I'll just be at the desk where we came in, okay?"

Molly nodded slowly. "'Kay."

"Okay." Natasha smiled, leaning forward to whisper to the girl. "I know this is scary but you're being so brave and I'm so proud of you."

Molly blinked, a shy smile on her face as her cheeks pinkened at the praise. "Play." She said softly.

"Playing is a great idea, you'll have a wonderful time." Natasha smiled, waving the girl off as Molly shyly headed over to Ria.

...

After signing all the paperwork she needed to, Natasha headed back to Molly and Alessandria's room, where the girls were happily playing.

The redhead leaned against the wall to watch for a moment. The girls were playing an elaborately made up game in that way only kids could do and it was so nice to hear Molly laughing.

The girl deserved somewhere safe and warm and loving. All the children left behind deserved that. All children full stop.

But watching the game going on in front of her was also painful. Lila, Cooper and Nate had never been her kids but god did they feel like it sometimes.

Natasha had been around so much that she'd easily been a part of the family. She'd help Laura and Clint with feeds and bath time and entertaining. She helped soothe the kids back to sleep, read to them, sent them off to school, _treasured_ them.

But now four of the most important people in her life were gone. Five, actually, since Clint was AWOL and seemed intent on not being found.

So yes, her heart ached in a way she didn't think she would ever recover from, but seeing Molly laugh and play and hop around like a child should, Natasha thought maybe her heart could heal just a little.

Smiling, she stepped into the room. "Molly? I don't want to pull you from your game, I just wanted to say goodbye." She said softly.

The blonde girl halted in her steps, wide eyes turning to Natasha. "You're not staying?"

Staying? _Oh shit_ , had Molly thought Natasha would live there too?

"I can't sweetheart," Natasha began softly, moving towards the girl as Molly began to gulp as if she were trying not to cry. "I can't stay here all the time but I'm going to come see you every day, okay? As long as you want me to come, I will." She crouched so she was at Molly's height.

The girl's lower lip wobbled and Natasha couldn't help but pull her in for a hug. "It's okay. It's okay, milaya, you're not alone." She whispered against her hair.

Molly hiccuped weakly, face buried against Nat's shoulder, her fingers tangled in the woman's shirt. "You can't leave." She whispered, voice thick with tears. "You _can't_. Everyone else did. _Please_."

Natasha's heart tore wide open and she held the girl tighter. "No, no, milaya, I'm not leaving. I'm coming back. Every single day. I'll take you out, you like ducks? I know a great little park where you can feed them. And we can get hot-dogs from the stand there. You like hot dogs?"

Molly mumbled affirmations, sniffling, still clinging to her.

"I promise," Natasha breathed, her chest tight and her eyes burning with tears she didn't dare shed yet, "I promise."

Molly suddenly pulled back, her little hands either side of Natasha's face. "Promising isn't good enough. You have to pinky promise." She said fiercely, surprising Natasha, who immediately nodded.

"Of course, pinky promises are the only true promise." Natasha said seriously, lifting her left hand, pinky up.

She tried to ignore the memories floating around her head.

_"Promise you'll never leave?" Asked by a six year old Lila as Natasha left for a mission._

_"I promise I'll never leave." Said just as seriously as pinkies wrapped around one another._

_"I promise."_

Swallowing, Natasha tried to smile, holding out her pinky.

Molly scrutinized her features before nodding, wrapping her pinky around Natasha's. "Now say it." The girl demanded.

"I promise I will come back every day." Natasha said quietly, solemnly.

Seemingly content, Molly broke their pinkies apart. "Okay."

Natasha moved to stand when she had an idea. She touched the silver arrow necklace at her throat, the panic at giving it away almost stopping her from taking it off.

Almost.

She carefully unclasped the necklace, trailing her fingers over the arrow before holding it out so Molly could see.

"This is one of my most prized possessions. It's very very special to me. But I think you should have it. But you have to take good care of it okay? I want you to have it to remind you that no matter how alone you feel, I'm always going to be here."

_Clint grinned at her as she opened the little black box. "So, what do you think? Cute huh? And I know how you feel about jewelry so it's simple and small. Here, lemme put it on."_

_Once Clint had secured the clasp, she turned to face him as the archer took her hand. "So you know that I'm always with you. No matter what. No matter how far away. I'm always here." He tapped the little arrow at her throat._

_Natasha, eyes wide with shock, couldn't even speak, just threw her arms around her best friend and whispered a hoarse thank you against his ear._

_"C'mon, Nat, you know I've always got you."_

Molly's eyes were wide with the same shock Natasha's had been as she reached out to touch the silver. "It's so beautiful." She said quietly.

"Here, turn around so I can put it on." Natasha smiled, eyes watery as she clasped the necklace and let it rest there.

Molly beamed, "how's it look?"

"Like it's always been meant to sit there." Natasha breathed.

Molly looked back over at a patient Ria, playing around with her dolls.

"Go, play." Natasha grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow. I'll take you out for lunch." She promised.

After one last hug, Natasha was heading out the doors.

...

After collecting her bike from the diner, Natasha got back to the compound.

The first thing she did was sit at the computer and sort through the teams finances. Once she'd determined how much she could get away with, she transferred the funds over to the child's home. They needed it more than she ever could.

Once that was done, Natasha checked the scanner. Of course there was nothing. No sign of Clint.

Pushing back her chair, the woman dropped her head into her hands, pulling in a shaky breath.

In the emptiness of the compound, a weight settled against her chest, Natasha finally broke down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe leave me a comment if you enjoyed? They make me so happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I hope you can all forgive me but with how my health is at the moment, I can't post the bigger chapters like I usually do. It's too much. So I'm now writing shorter chapters but they will be just as detailed and because they're shorter, there will be more of them. It just means that I can get content I'm happy with up as opposed to waiting weeks until a longer chapter is finally done. I hope this won't affect you guys sticking with me and I appreciate all the support.

The next few months were unlike any Natasha had lived through.

Not only was she still somehow defacto leader of The Avengers they had left, she had also become one of the leaders for the children's organisation.

It meant that not only did Natasha work at the children's home where Molly lived, she was also in contact with homes across the state and the neighboring states.

Despite all that, she never once broke her promise to Molly. Natasha went to see her everyday. And not just her, she'd also somehow became popular with a lot of the other kids there. They loved to hear her superhero stories, play games with her, to just talk to her because they seemed to know without her saying how she'd knew loss like an old friend. Every part of her life had been filled with it and so those kids seemed to gravitate towards her.

Molly didn't mind, she enjoyed having a whole host of friends and it wasn't as if Natasha forgot about her.

At least once a week, the woman would take Molly out. True to her word, they visited the ducks and the park. The girl spent hours playing, being pushed on the swings, digging through the sand pit, racing Natasha up the climbing wall.

They went swimming, exploring, shopping, ate a lot of food.

A few months in and Natasha knew she was a goner for that girl. No one could ever replace the kids she'd lost, that wasn't at all what Molly was to her, just someone to replace them. Molly felt like family. Was family. She felt how Lila and Cooper and Nate had. Not hers but...hers.

She soothed the girl through nightmares, through scraped knees and hands, through anxiety, through crying fits and through sorrow. She also witnessed beautiful things. Molly laughing, playing, smiling. Enjoying new food, getting to run around, making friends, having fun. She got to see a young artist bloom, Molly's artwork proudly displayed in Natasha's room.

Natasha had lost so much and had even lost those who weren't gone because the pain had been too much and staying together hadn't been important to anyone else anymore.

But with Molly and her job and the friends she made with the other leaders, Natasha felt some of that hole in her heart fill.

She still checked the scanner. Every morning, every night, often in between too. There was never anything. 

After those failed searches for her best friend, she would take her bike and head out to the streets.

She left flyers on every available post for their children's home, with phone numbers and addresses for both theirs and the others across the state.

She also searched the streets. Alleyways, behind stores, in parks and streets almost empty now. She checked every few days, just looking, just in case.

She'd found another four kids that way. Homeless, hungry, dirty, scared, alone.

Alone but not for long.

She got to watch those kids flourish too when they were taken to the home. Where they were safe and fed and got to make friends and not be alone anymore.

Natasha knew it wouldn't carry on forever. She hadn't found any kids for weeks now and she didn't want to think about what that meant. On one hand, it could mean they were all safe. But on the other hand...no, she couldn't go there.

Still, despite the outcome not looking good this long after the snap, she didn't stop looking.

Not as months turned into years.

She couldn't stop. She had to keep on going on. She couldn't let anyone down.

Years passed in both a blur and agonizingly slow.

Molly grew, she found that she loved to draw and paint and had even painted the entire wall in her and Alessandria's room. She was spunky and funny and endearing but she also had a wicked tongue and could fire back at any moment. She suffered with her mental health, with depression and anxiety and probably some PTSD because her mother and father had died and her aunt had turned to dust right in front of her. But she also had a wicked sense of humor and the kindest heart of anyone Natasha knew.

Natasha was immensely proud to know Molly and even prouder to see how far the girl would go.

Sometime into the third year, Molly referred to Natasha as Auntie Nat in front of some of her friends and the redhead had been so overwhelmed she'd sobbed for a straight ten minutes in the admin bathroom.

From then on, she'd been Auntie Nat and Natasha was sure her heart would burst.

She was happy. She had bad days. A lot of bad days. But she got to speak to some of her team, had forged good friendships with both Carol and Okoye, and Rhodey and Steve dropped by semi often. Plus, she had a fulfilling job, two of them actually, and she had Molly and friends at work. So whilst things would always be painful and she had more bad days than good, the good days still came. She thought that maybe she could finally move on. Maybe she could stop blaming herself. Maybe she could be completely happy.

But then five years came and everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are my lifeblood and maybe subscribe so you don't miss anything! Endgame spoilers coming up in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I know it's been a long time. Not only has my health been really bad but I just lost inspiration for a little bit I suppose. I do hope to be posting at least a little more frequently. I watched Far From Home and it finally gave me that want to write back. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also this fic is going to have 2 alternate endings. One that fits in with canon and one that doesn't because I'm a sucker and I can't help myself. So be on the look out for the very last chapter!
> 
> Russian translations:  
> Malyshka-baby  
> Milaya-sweetie

Five years came to ahead in what seemed like both no time at all and a lifetime.

Over those years, Natasha had found Clint multiple times. Well, she'd more found Clint's destruction. Death and bodies and chaos left in his wake as he'd fully come into his new moniker.

 _Ronin_.

All over the world there were reports. A slaughter here, a massacre there. Sure, maybe the guys Clint killed were bad guys but she had never seen anything like this before. Not from him. Not from her best friend. From herself maybe, all those long years ago, before Clint. But not the man who had saved her life and given her the first reason to live after the horrors of her past.

Clint certainly wasn't hiding anymore, not like those first years. He didn't care who found him anymore, he didn't care if he got killed, so deep in his pain as he was. It hurt, it still hurt that he hadn't cared for Natasha enough to come find her but she also understood.

Because as much as every news report, every update from her team, every flash of him she caught on cameras made the ache in her chest deepen, Natasha couldn't go after him.

There was no hope. His family were still gone and it was seeming more and more likely that they would remain that way. 

And Natasha just didn't have it in her to track him down, to look at the broken expression of the man who had given her everything, to tell him there was no hope.

She also didn't have the heart to stop him. To stop the killings she would need to kill him and that was one thing she would never do. She couldn't. He'd saved her life when Shield believed she was only fit for death. Now, with so many of her team never wanting to see him again, Natasha would be what he had been for her. She would not judge him. She would not kill him. 

There was so much good in that man that it killed her every time a new report came in. He was good. He'd just fallen a long way.

So she understood why he'd never sought after her, why he'd never come back to her. Grief was a terrible terrible thing. 

But then Tony turned up after years away with an answer. With hope.

_Finally._

...

The next day Natasha flew to Japan, took the hand of her oldest friend and brought him home.

...

Every day that passed after that blurred. Natasha continued to see Molly, mentioning nothing of the mission that lay ahead. If everything turned out well, she would miss no days with her niece and would return triumphant that they would finally be able to bring everyone back. 

She could return with good news. She could watch as Molly realised her aunt was coming home. She could hold the girl knowing she had done her absolute best and it had paid off. They could begin to heal. Begin to live, fully live.

She was so unbelievably proud and amazed at how far her girl had come. She was a brilliant near-teen, clever and quick witted and so damn sassy. Her love of art had grown exponentially and though she wasn't even a teenager yet, Molly dreamed of art school. Now, if Natasha could only get the girl to do her math homework from time to time, that would be amazing.

As Natasha hugged Molly goodbye that morning, she couldn't help but grin. 

"What're you so happy about?" Molly asked sceptically, raising an eyebrow in the way she'd learnt from Natasha herself.

"Nothing, malyshka." Natasha hummed, tucking a strand of long red and blonde hair behind the girl's ear.

Almost a month ago Natasha had turned up to take Molly to lunch to find that her and Alessandria had somehow gotten their hands on hair dye and bleach and had turned their hair into versions of Natasha's. Natasha had then had to spend hours fixing it and tidying it up before taking a moment in the bathroom to cry once more as her heart swelled with pride and love.

Now, looking down at her mini-me, Natasha leaned in and pressed a kiss to the girl's temple. "I'll see you tomorrow, milaya, I've got a big surprise for you."

"You do? What is it? Can't I have it now?" The girl turned in her full on pouty face, puppy eyes and all. Normally Natasha had a lot of trouble turning that expression down.

Laughing, the woman ruffled Molly's hair. "Absolutely not. Tomorrow." 

The girl sighed deeply, " _fine._ " She huffed. 

Natasha only pulled her to her chest. Tomorrow they'd be close to bringing everyone back. Tomorrow. 

"I love you, Mol." Natasha hummed, excitement building up and coursing through her veins.

"I love you too, Auntie Nat." Molly beamed, wrapping her arms around Natasha, who hugged the girl fiercely before pulling away.

She didn't look back as she'd walked out of the room and now, standing at the top of that cliff, she'd have given anything to go back and take one last look at Molly.

...

As soon as the Red Skull spoke, Natasha knew what she was going to do.

The whole five years had been leading to that very moment, leading to that outcome. Where all those children would have their families back. Where Clint would have his family back. 

This had been what Natasha had been working for. Bringing everyone back.

Clint had been in so much pain for so long and looking at his face, hand in her's as if no time had passed at all, Natasha knew she could finally, finally uphold her promise to him.

Fighting with Clint was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do. She had to go over that cliff. She just had to. For Laura and Lila and Cooper and Nate. For Bucky. For Wanda. For Molly. For everyone.

She didn't want to die. She wanted to live. Wanted to see her hard earned dream coming true. See her best friend happy again. See Molly beam and laugh and live, watch her grow up. She wanted to live to see her friends again, to see all the children again. She wanted to live to eat a pb+j, to push Molly on the swings, to sleep under the softest covers. 

She wanted to live. But she couldn't. Not this time. This was how it ended.

And as Natasha went over that cliff, as Clint clutched at her hand and begged her not to, Natasha whispered that it was okay.

And it was. It truly was for her sacrifice would play a part in bringing everyone back.

 _For them all_ she thought as she took one last look at her best friend's face and let go of his hand.

Her last thought before she hit the ground below was,

_For Molly._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearly at the end guys. Just the two alternate endings to come! I hope you enjoyed this journey cause I sure did!
> 
> Russian translations:  
> malyshka-baby

The world rejoiced when everyone returned. Families were finally together again, partners reunited, children with their parents.

When the news spread that everyone was back, Molly took off running to her old house. And there, rushing down the front steps, her aunt.

The reunion was sweet and Molly was sure she'd never been happier.

"I can't wait for you to meet Auntie Nat, she took care of me the whole time, you'll love her." Molly had told her Aunt as they'd walked through the streets.

Over the days that followed, Molly tried desperately to get into contact with Natasha.

"She never missed a day. She wouldn't leave me just because you're back." She'd told her Aunt late that second night, unable to sleep.

The next morning a man turned up at their front porch. He had tattoos and red rimmed eyes and he carried a box in his hands.

He introduced himself as Clint, as Natasha's oldest friend.

Molly had been delighted at first. Of course she knew about Clint! But then, of course, she had to wonder why her Auntie Nat wasn't there herself.

That was when the man handed her the box and knelt down on one knee, sorrow in his voice and tears in his eyes.

Dead

She was dead.

_Gone._

Molly remembered this pain all too well. She curled tight, trying to stop the agony in her chest from expanding but it was no use.

She ended up on the floor, sobbing her heart out, her aunt and her other auntie's best friend there to try and pick up the pieces.

That night, Clint helped her pack for the funeral. When the man noticed the arrow necklace in the girl's hand, his expression crumpled and he excused himself to the guest room.

Finally alone, Molly sat on her bed and opened the red box.

Inside, she found that her Auntie Nat had kept so many things from their time together. Ticket stubs, empty snack packets, trinkets from different places, pictures taken together.

And then, underneath the junk that Molly would never get rid of, a letter.

_To my beautiful niece_

_I hope by the time you read this, your aunt is home. I also hope that if I am not by your side, that I'm on my way home to you. You say I saved you but, Molly, I think it's the other way around. You held me together, you gave me purpose and someone to confide in when I had nobody, you gave me love that was constant and unending. I'm not sure what's going to go down but as I write this, I'm looking out across an alien sky and alien stars and I wish you could see it, It's so beautiful. I'm going to fight as hard as I can to get back to you but Molly, if something happens to me, I'm never going to be completely gone. Look up at the stars and know I'm there, watching, looking after you, as I promised I always would. Thank you for coming into my life, malyshka. I love you._

_Your Auntie Nat_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go! The end. This chapter and the next are very similar apart from the endings. This one is for those who want to stick with reality, the next is for those like me who want to ignore Endgame and be as far away from reality as possible :)  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> malyshka - baby

The world rejoiced when everyone returned. Families were finally together again, partners reunited, children with their parents.

When the news spread that everyone was back, Molly took off running to her old house. And there, rushing down the front steps, her aunt.

The reunion was sweet and Molly was sure she'd never been happier.

"I can't wait for you to meet Auntie Nat, she took care of me the whole time, you'll love her." Molly had told her Aunt as they'd walked through the streets.

Over the days that followed, Molly tried desperately to get into contact with Natasha.

"She never missed a day. She wouldn't leave me just because you're back." She'd told her Aunt late that second night, unable to sleep.

The next morning a man turned up at their front porch. He had tattoos and red rimmed eyes and he carried a box in his hands.

He introduced himself as Clint, as Natasha's oldest friend.

Molly had been delighted at first. Of course she knew about Clint! But then, of course, she had to wonder why her Auntie Nat wasn't there herself.

That was when the man handed her the box and knelt down on one knee, sorrow in his voice and tears in his eyes.

_Dead_

She was dead.

Gone.

Molly remembered this pain all too well. She curled tight, trying to stop the agony in her chest from expanding but it was no use.

She ended up on the floor, sobbing her heart out, her aunt and her other aunt's best friend there to try and pick up the pieces.

That night, Clint helped her pack for the funeral. When the man noticed the arrow necklace in the girl's hand, his expression crumpled and he excused himself to the guest room.

Finally alone, Molly sat on her bed and opened the red box.

Inside, she found that her Auntie Nat had kept so many things from their time together. Ticket stubs, empty snack packets, trinkets from different places, pictures taken together.

And then, underneath the junk that Molly would never get rid of, a letter.

_To my beautiful niece_

_I hope by the time you read this, your aunt is home. I also hope that if I am not by your side, that I'm on my way home to you. You say I saved you but, Molly, I think it's the other way around. You held me together, you gave me purpose and someone to confide in when I had nobody. I'm not sure what's going to go down but as I write this, I'm looking out across an alien sky and alien stars and how I wish you could see it. I'm going to fight as hard as I can to get back to you but Molly, if something happens to me, I'm never going to be completely gone. Look up at the stars and know I'm there, watching, looking after you, as I promised I always would. Thank you for coming into my life, malyshka. I love you._

_Your Auntie Nat_

In the months that followed the blip, as it was now being called, the work Natasha did continued.

Sure, those particular children's homes were no longer needed anymore but there were still children all over the world that needed safety and a home.

The Romanoff Initiative, created by Clint and Molly began in the states but soon took off in all corners of the world.

They built homes, they built shelters and schools and sent millions of supplies.

Natasha may have only been able to see it from the stars, but Molly hoped her Auntie was proud of her.

She would never give up on what Natasha had started and she would never, ever, forget her Auntie Nat.

…

The months passed in no time.

Things had returned to normal. Molly went to school, she had dinner with her Aunt.

Normal.

Except every second Friday.

A jet would land in the field across from the girl's house and she would run out, bag packed, ready for adventure.

Clint would take her anywhere she wanted to go, they would spend the whole weekend exploring and then it would be back home in time for school Monday.

Four months after everyone returned, Molly ran from her house to the field, waiting for her ride.

The archer was a little late but he had kids of his own, it was probably fine.

But then an hour passed. And another. And still nothing.

Heart heavy, stomach filled with lead, tears in her eyes, the girl stood, ready to trudge back home and cry herself to sleep.

And then the sound she loved.

The jet, thrusters going, wind blowing up into her face.

“Hey kiddo, you ready for some fun?” Clint asked, standing at the top of the ramp.

Molly ran straight up to him, smiling and bumping her fist against his as she got strapped into her seat.

As they flew across the sky, the girl looked out the windows, at the stars starting to appear, and she remembered.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter guys. This is for you guys who want to believe Endgame didn't happen because sameeee!
> 
> malyshka - baby  
> milaya - sweetie

The world rejoiced when everyone returned. Families were finally together again, partners reunited, children with their parents.

When the news spread that everyone was back, Molly took off running to her old house. And there, rushing down the front steps, her aunt.

The reunion was sweet and Molly was sure she'd never been happier.

"I can't wait for you to meet Auntie Nat, she took care of me the whole time, you'll love her." Molly had told her Aunt as they'd walked through the streets.

Over the days that followed, Molly tried desperately to get into contact with Natasha.

"She never missed a day. She wouldn't leave me just because you're back." She'd told her Aunt late that second night, unable to sleep.

The next morning a man turned up at their front porch. He had tattoos and red rimmed eyes and he carried a box in his hands.

He introduced himself as Clint, as Natasha's oldest friend.

Molly had been delighted at first. Of course she knew about Clint! But then, of course, she had to wonder why her Auntie Nat wasn't there herself.

That was when the man handed her the box and knelt down on one knee, sorrow in his voice and tears in his eyes.

_Dead_

She was dead.

Gone.

Molly remembered this pain all too well. She curled tight, trying to stop the agony in her chest from expanding but it was no use.

She ended up on the floor, sobbing her heart out, her aunt and her other aunt's best friend there to try and pick up the pieces.

That night, Clint helped her pack for the funeral. When the man noticed the arrow necklace in the girl's hand, his expression crumpled and he excused himself to the guest room.

Finally alone, Molly sat on her bed and opened the red box.

Inside, she found that her Auntie Nat had kept so many things from their time together. Ticket stubs, empty snack packets, trinkets from different places, pictures taken together.

And then, underneath the junk that Molly would never get rid of, a letter.

_To my beautiful niece_

_I hope by the time you read this, your aunt is home. I also hope that if I am not by your side, that I'm on my way home to you. You say I saved you but, Molly, I think it's the other way around. You held me together, you gave me purpose and someone to confide in when I had nobody. I'm not sure what's going to go down but as I write this, I'm looking out across an alien sky and alien stars and how I wish you could see it. I'm going to fight as hard as I can to get back to you but Molly, if something happens to me, I'm never going to be completely gone. Look up at the stars and know I'm there, watching, looking after you, as I promised I always would. Thank you for coming into my life, malyshka. I love you._

_Your Auntie Nat_

In the months that followed the blip, as it was now being called, the work Natasha did continued.

Sure, those particular children's homes were no longer needed anymore but there were still children all over the world that needed safety and a home.

The Romanoff Initiative, created by Clint and Molly began in the states but soon took off in all corners of the world.

They built homes, they built shelters and schools and sent millions of supplies.

Natasha may have only been able to see it from the stars, but Molly hoped her Auntie was proud of her.

She would never give up on what Natasha had started and she would never, ever, forget her Auntie Nat.

…

The months passed in no time.

Things had returned to normal. Molly went to school, she had dinner with her Aunt.

Normal.

Except every second Friday.

A jet would land in the field across from the girl's house and she would run out, bag packed, ready for adventure.

Clint would take her anywhere she wanted to go, they would spend the whole weekend exploring and then it would be back home in time for school Monday.

Four months after everyone returned, Molly ran from her house to the field, waiting for her ride.

The archer was a little late but he had kids of his own, it was probably fine.

But then an hour passed. And another. And still nothing.

Heart heavy, stomach filled with lead, tears in her eyes, the girl stood, ready to trudge back home and cry herself to sleep.

And then the sound she loved.

The jet, thrusters going, wind blowing up into her face.

A smile broke out across her face as the ramp came down and she walked quickly towards it. "I was about to go back home, thought you-" the words died on her tongue as she took in the figure at the top of that ramp.

Not Clint. Not any of his friends. Not his wife or his children.

Her Auntie Nat.

She was dirty and thin and looked exhausted but it was her. It was really her.

In seconds, she was barreling into the woman's arms and it was the best feeling in the world.

A husky, indistinguishable voice whispered against her ear. "Miss me, milaya?"

Now Molly had never been happier.

...

A week later, Natasha moved into Molly's home with the girl and her aunt, after signing the official adoption co-parent papers.

She was finally home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. I hope you guys loved this as much as I loved writing it. Please drop a comment if you did, I'd love to hear it! Thank you for riding this train with me! My readers are the best. Love you guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> Going into later chapters there will be Endgame spoilers so be aware of that. Thanks for reading!!! Comments make me v happy <3


End file.
